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"If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?" - RuPaul
Throughout his life, he self-harmed. It was his pressure release, his way of feeling something other than nothing, but most of all, it was his way of being in control. He was a victim of child abuse. This caused him to lose all self-control of who or what he thought he can control. With over 60 life-long scars all over his body, he can't run from his past. But he reached out to a friend. A friend who was more hurt to see him inflict so much pain on his own body. The reaction of this friend made him realize he wasn't alone and that people in this world do care for others. It doesn't have to be your mom, dad, brother or sister. It can be a friend. It might be scary at first. And you don't know how they will react, what they will do or how you'll be judged. By opening himself up and placing his trust in someone, he was able to make the most powerful promise. A promise that would stay with him for the rest of his life. This promise was to be safe.
If you are a self-abuser, you most likely can relate to the helplessness and emptiness inside that you feel. And if you are not, it's more than just thinking someone is crazy for being able to do such things to themselves. They aren't crazy. They've just had the control of their life taken away.
The strongest thing you can do for yourself is making a promise to yourself, to a loved one or even a friend that you will respect yourself enough to stop. There is no need to punish yourself for your past or feelings. There's no need to harm yourself to feel something rather than nothing. If you don't know who to turn to, please find your local samaritan or local help hotline. You may think these people don't want to hear what you have to say, but they truly do. Human nature can be so cruel. But that doesn't mean that is all there is to offer. Human nature is to be kind, pick someone up when they fall, lend an ear when they need to be heard and care for those around us. As this brave man put it,
"I’ve never met you, but I care.
I don’t want you to hurt yourself.
You deserve more than that.
You deserve the true strength that comes from self-acceptance and vulnerability.
You deserve a happy life where you can manage your pain.
You deserve a fresh start.
It’s never too late, for a clean slate.
If you can’t find anyone to promise.
Then please, promise me.
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